Author: Borderline Izaya

tyrannosaurus-rex:

magearna:

notreblogs:

chefpyro:

i’m having a stroke

can somebody caption this for me

I wish my father was here! *LA CUCARACHA!* *SCrrEEEEEECH* *COWBOY MUSIC* HELLOOoO Soss! Timmy Turner, my name is Dougsdale Dimmadale Dimmadimmsdomedoodiddomedimedimmsdimmadimmadome owner of the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmsdaledimmadome! Thank you for locating my long-lost son Dale Dimmadimmsdomedoodiddomedimedimmsdimmadimmadome, heir to the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedoodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmsdougsdaledimmadome fortune! If there’s anything I can ever do to repay you for your kindness, all you need to do is ask!!! Doug Dimmadome? The owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome? Not right. Not right? That’s right. Doug Dougmadomedimmadimmadomedimmsdaledomedaledimmsdodimmdougdodimmadomedimmadomedimmadomedimmadome owner of the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedoodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmadimmadimmadimmsdaledimmadome. The same Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, where they’re showing Crash Nebula? On ice? Yeah! Not right. Not right?! That’s right. Timmy Turner, my name is Timmy Dimmadoodimmadome owner of the *SOUND OF COMPUTER DYING* Then you can get me three tickets to s– Not right! !O L L E H *hcEeeeEERrrCS* *!AHCARACUC AL LA CUCARACHA!* *LIMO REPEATEDLY PULLS UP AND PULLS AWAY* I wish my father was here! *Freezeframe, grayscale* CRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLINGGG INNNNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THESE WOUUUUNNDS THEY WIIIIILL…………….

just so you know this transscript is in fact actually 100% accurate

creamandhoneybear:

creamandhoneybear:

mood when ur an exhausted dumbass w bad vision and ur tryna draw but ur seeing triplicate. where are the lines?? is this color in them?? we dont the fkuc know lol

oh my god i closed my good eye and realized that its my bad eye seeing double. but its like. solid. its like solidly seeing two things at once, with one shifted slightly and a little blurrier. haha what the FUCK lmao

calebwidodad:

titleknown:

fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan:

fattyatomicmutant:

I love Dungeons and Dragons prestige classes like there’s a kind of Blood Mage that has the power to teleport by CRAMMING THEMSELVES INTO SOMEBODYS WOUND EVEN A PAPERCUT WILL DO AND POP OUT OF SOMEBODY ELSES WOUND THATS THE SAME BLOOD TYPE REGARDLESS OF DISTANCE.

Can you imagine it you get a PAPERCUT and some some unkempt wizard just stumbles out of it?

No but you’re missing the best part of that class they can LITERALLY MAKE YOU EXPLODE by popping out of you like say the big bad is the same blood type as one of your buddies you can just be like “hey fred give yourself a small cut on yer arm” and fred can and then you just cram yourself into fred’s arm and fucking six seconds later then bigbad just fucking EXPLODES IN A SHOWER OF BLOOD AND GORE AS YOU POP OUT OF THEM BEING ALL “SUPRISE MUTHERFUCKER BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING”

There’s also

  • The Acolyte Of The Skin; who replaces his entire skin with a
    demon. Like, a whole fucking demon.
  • The Green Star Adept who just fucking eats a whole bunch of
    fucking expensive space-metal to turn himself into space-metal; just
    shoves it all in his facehole.
  • The Squire of Legend; which is literally a class training to be
    the best second-banana to the actual heroes you can be.
  • The Ghost-Faced Killer, an actual fucking prestige class named
    after a Wu-Tang Clan member
  • The Vigilante, a class notable for the main fact that its sample
    character is a fucking hobbit-Batman named fucking Beasley Biggums
  • The Rage Mage, who improves her spellcasting by getting really
    fucking angry.
  • The Flayerspawn Psychic, who is a psychic who gets their powers
    from having a Mind Flayer (IE, those squid-headed guys) in their
    family tree, despite the fact that Mind Flayer reproduction involves
    a worm eating your brain from the inside out and using your body as a
    host, which is one of the many reasons the book it comes from is
    considered one of the worst in 3.5E
  • The Vassal of Bahamut; who literally has a class feature of “gets
    a shit-ton of money” at certain levels
  • The Impure Prince, who fights Lovecraftian abominations by turning
    herself into a Lovecraftian
    abomination, which seems both ill-advised and severely
    badass     at the same time.
  • The Master of Masks; which allows you to make Majora’s
    Mask-style masks that give you various powers and is actually
    legit-cool fluff-wise despite actually being not-very-good gameplay
    wise
  • The Thrall Of Orcus; whose requirements bizarrely specify doing a
    dark ritual “atop an altar made of at least thirty skulls.”
  • The Lord of Tides; which specialises in getting water in the
    desert and has an ability that allows you to extract water forcibly
    from a person Tank Girl-style. And if you kill somebody with it, the
    water turns into a magical water imp for about a minute!
  • The Divine Prankster, who plays April Fools-style practical jokes
    in the name of the Gods and literally has an ability that’s pretty
    much the World’s Deadliest Joke from that one Monty Python sketch.
  • The Primeval, who literally slowly becomes a fucking Caveman as
    she gains levels and has the ability to turn into prehistoric
    megafauna as one of its primary class features.
  • The Cancer Mage, who can literally turn into a flying disease at
    its highest level, has a sentient tumor as a familiar; can make armor
    out of garbage, and is actually-pretty-terrible gameplay-wise unless
    you get the right diseases; in which case it becomes unspeakably
    broken
  • The Ashworm Dragoon; which is pretty much a literal specialized
    Sandworm-rider class. SHAI HULUUD!
  • The Renegade Mastermaker, who is literally a magical cyborg
    dedicated to physically emulating a specific player race of magical
    robots (Yes, D&D has that), who has a magic cyborg arm called a
    BATTLEFIST as a class feature.
  • The Risen Martyr who is literally Jesus-come-back-from-the-dead as
    a prestige class.

D&D is amaaaaaaaazing…

@lilefarc plays a Blood Mage in our campaign and I honestly can’t wait for my shadow dancer to see that because he will shit himself

menderash:

i can’t understand ppl who hate rats. “their tails are creepy!! there’s no fur on them!!!” ??? you don’t have fur on most of your creepy ass body either. “THEY HAVE LITTLE PEOPLE HANDS” YOU HAVE LITTLE PEOPLE HANDS TOO, stop hating. you’re weak. look at their sweet faces. they just want to love u.