does anyone else remember that straight to DVD madeline movie from the late 90s where madeline is kidnapped and imprisoned in a sweatshop with several other orphan girls and forced to perform child labour sewing lace by hand and the climax of the movie is that a customer asks for red lace and the proprieter of the factory is about to shave madeline’s head to use her red hair to make red lace when miss clavel suddenly comes bursting in with the cops to free her. i just had to look it up to make sure i didn’t hallucinate the whole thing but it’s very real apparently.
several people have pointed out that there was a subplot in this film involving one of the little orphan girls ruining all her lace with consumptive coughing and hacking yellow bile onto the fabric and the owner of the sweatshop being so furious that she condemned this little orphan girl to sew black lace in the dark until she went blind… and madeline was like, “that’s not right!” and the sweatshop owner threw her in solitary confinement… this was a film for seven-year-olds
i don’t know why i said “straight to DVD” when obviously this was the vhs era babey
every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself
so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead
now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here
the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family
eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again
If I'm your savior, then you're mine. 