Note: This advice is not meant for outing to close friends and family. They will most likely need some time to process the information. Let them ask you stuff and start an open conversation.
Look, you can bitch about Straight People ™ but the truth is most of them will never know how to react when you out yourself. You’re the one who has to SET THE TONE of the conversation!
When an SP assumes you’re one of them, which happens all the time, don’t panic! Correct them and move on by casually shifting to another topic (best to ask them something about them).
Are you’re worried the SP who was hitting on you might be offended or take it as a rejection (and this is actually very common)? Don’t be. They will survive. You don’t owe them an explanation.
Based on my experience as a gay girl, I learned to use the term “gay” instead of “lesbian” while talking to straight men. Most of them still connect the L word with porn. That’s a rabbit hole you don’t… you know.
They don’t have to ask you. Just say something like “I’m spending the weekend with my girlfriend/boyfriend,” and then change the subject to distract them from the inevitable thought that you must be the “boy” in the relationship.
Don’t pause before saying it.
Don’t let your voice break.
Don’t look away or if you were doing something else (tattooing in my case), don’t stop to check their reaction.
Don’t do an apologetic shrug afterwards.
Practice.
Why is this important?
Because SPs assume you’re one of them. It’s logical. They are the norm in their circles. And it’s nice to come clean right away.
I did it every time when I started a new school, class, job… Imagine working with the same people for a month and trying to casually out yourself when they already told you all about their SP partners. Not that easy.
I’m not pushing anyone to out themselves if they are not ready! You know your community best!
If I'm your savior, then you're mine. 