mifengdianying:

i have MORE feelings…………….. about this “i’m not like other girls” conversation, and how whether we are “cool” or not is judged based on how much we act like men …. while still being pretty …

idk how to word this properly but when i was little, i was best friends with my neighbor who was a boy my age and when we were seven he’d send me letters saying he missed me when i wasn’t at his house and wish we could play together more. and then that suddenly changed in third grade, when i was bullied by other girls for being too tall and gangly and ugly and chinese, and he started hanging out with boys only and would taunt me for being too ugly and girly. but they liked my friend who was tomboyish but pretty and they’d always compare me to her— “you’re not cool like sammy. you’re too girly, not like sammy. you’re stupid and shallow, not like sammy.” they’d gang up on me and pull my hair and yank at my panties and kick me and then finish with, “we won’t do that to sammy, though, because she’s cool.”

and like. i think about that. the “cool” girls are the girls who just do the same things that guys do, except they’re pretty. we see this all the time in movies. they’re loud, they’re aggressive, they prefer martial arts and video games to things like fashion and makeup, they refuse to discuss their feelings because they’re too logical and there’s more important things to talk about. but slap that on a girl that’s less conventionally attractive, and she’s called some ugly butch lesbian (even though there’s nothing wrong with being a butch lesbian!) you slap loud and aggressive on a pretty girl that DOES care about fashion and makeup and feelings, she’s a shrill conceited bitch.

“cool” girls are the girls who as another post concisely stated (which i can’t find at the moment) are effortlessly pretty, just have pretty handed to them because they’re preoccupied with better things. they’re not attention-seeking if a bunch of guys fall for them, they’re just that good. they make rape jokes and racist jokes and react to other women with aggressiveness because hey, they’re not oversensitive like you other stupid women, they’re just cool. to act as much like a boy as possible while still being “effortlessly pretty” gives you the attention and pseudo-respect of men because you indulge in their every fantasy of being a woman whose interests and emotions you don’t have to consider because they already match yours. to be anything but means you deserve rejection and violence.