Category: Uncategorized

fireflysummers:

I know that the new Artemis Fowl trailer is just the early teaser and I should withhold judgement, but I’m overall rather mixed because Arty was my middle school experience. I adored those books so much. 

So assuming no significant changes were made to the content of the books, here’s how I would script out the eventual extended trailer.

Intro screens playing the reports about the supposed death of Artemis’s father, with a droning report of the bombing. Camera pans to show Artemis, watching them with a look of determination. 

Artemis: “He’s alive Butler, I know it. And I’m going to find him.“ 

Like flipping a switch, the camera zooms out, giving a full view of the room, revealing it to be more of a laboratory space. We see a short montage of Artemis doing Boy Genius things that give the audience a clear understanding that this is not your regular mopey rich boy. 

Artemis: “The Fowl Criminal Empire lives on, but not well enough. We need increased funds if I’m to keep up the search for my father.“ 

Butler: "You have a plan?" 

Artemis: "Of course. We’re going to steal them." 

Montage of images of the various faeries, but like. Dated images of the old LEP recon unit that match our mythologies, as well as aesthetic shots that show off things like the pixie’s wings, etc… 

Artemis (voiceover): "From the fairies." 

The  shot is interrupted by laughter, and we zoom out to see Juliet cackling her head off. 

Juliet: "Fairies? Really? A 12-year-old supergenius and his bodyguard flew to Ho Chi Minh to chase fairies?" 

 They’re sitting  in the lavish study of the Fowl mansion, and Artemis and Butler both look uncomfortable. Artemis clears his throat.

Artemis: "Assuming I am not totally insane, there’s something…else you should know about the fairies." 

 The screen goes dark for half a second, and the sound of a gun clicking/charging is heard. The camera pulls back, revealing the barrel of a high-tech gun interlaced with runes. The shot continues to zoom out, revealing an entire armed unit of obviously non-human individuals, and continues to zoom out to reveal them laying siege to Fowl mansion. 

The title card appears, and you hear holly’s voice over the top.

”Stay back human. You have no idea what you’re dealing with.” 

storybookhawke:

storybookhawke:

storybookhawke:

so what i can tell, written erotica is okay… but literally everything else is not okay.

but the confusing part is @support, what is the difference between “nudity in art” (deemed okay!) and illustrations of nipples (deemed unacceptable!) differ???

From what I understand:

  • all visual depictions of n*fw/s*xual content are BANNED, photographs AND art/fanart
  • writing about n*fw/s*xual content is fine, including nonfiction and fiction

which is like. kinda shitty and half-assed

  • inquisitorlavellann repiled: also the typical, ridiculous “female-presenting nipples” ban. as if women’s nipples are inherently sexual.

According to their rules, the “female-presenting nipple” is only acceptable if a baby is literally attached to it. or post-op pics.

WHICH

IS

BULLSHIT

kaijutegu:

There’s a reason for this, and you’re (hopefully) not gonna like it.

Corgis have short legs because they’ve got two copies of a gene that results in the overproduction of a protein called fibroblast growth factor 4 (FGF4). What FGF4 does is turn on certain growth receptors at the wrong time during fetal development, which causes the short legs. All corgis and corgi crosses with the short legs have chondrodysplastic dwarfism. This on its own wouldn’t necessarily be a problem, but when you cross in other breed traits, you can end up with a poorly-balanced dog that suffers neck and back pain its entire life, as well as having an increased risk of spinal abnormalities and intervertebral disk disease.  Not every corgi mix is going to have these issues, and many are quite healthy, but it’s not a good idea to just throw a corgi at a random dog and see what sticks.

scarfjackets:

how to tell if you’re the red gay or the blue gay

a (probably inaccurate but relatively relatable) study by dorkgan

—

the red gay

  • openly angsty
  • wears black (oh wait, no-)
  • has messy hair
  • runs into situations without thinking
  • strong internally
  • has had ______ for only a day but if anything happens to them or it, the red gay will kill everyone in the room and then themself
  • family problems
  • looks up to someone (who they’ll probably be the successor of)
  • (is this where i insert the feline traits???)
  • hides true emotions with denial
  • but when around the blue gay, they become the softest of gays ever

fine examples include: keith kogane, ruby, catra, zuko

the blue gay

  • wants to be the best
  • does their best
  • calmer, but dealing with emotional issues
  • very confused about life
  • good hair *thumbs up*
  • wants to impress others
  • talks to others for advice
  • sometimes bottles everything up
  • openly shows love
  • admired others for their strengths
  • needs a lot of love and attention
  • funnier and flirtier
  • puzzling past with the red gay
  • but all the same, they warm up to each other in time, with the blue gay taking care of their partner
  • because after all, they’re in love

fine examples include: lance mcclain, sapphire, adora, sokka

zombiezeemo:

So tumblr started purging all adult content huh?

Which means I will comb thru my acct to delete anything that might be considered such. I‘ll also be deleting side accts that are nothing but that content. I‘ll still be using this hellsite but that sure is gonna kill most of your userbase tumblr good luck with that

nobody-n-particulur:

penny-anna:

kayla-bird:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

This makes Sam the hot friend of the group, which is so fucking valid

tredlocity:

tredlocity:

tredlocity:

tattletales are lawful evil

Yes, Kevin, I brought my Game Boy to school. Did it bring you joy when you told the teacher? Did it satisfy your bloodlust when she confiscated it from me? You are no paragon of virtue. You are a beast. A vile monstrosity who feeds on suffering. The laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise.

i mean yea of course you should report actual harmful behavior but if you told mrs henderson that some kid brought his yugioh cards to school cause you wanna be the teacher’s pet, then you’re just a cop