yourplayersaidwhat:

(Before the session, in group chat) 

Bard: Try not to burn down any more towns without me. 

Me: No promises. 

(In group chat, directly after the party has killed a spider demon and in the process set fire to the town due to the copious amounts of spider silk) 

Me: Sorry. I said no promises. 

Bard: You guys had one job! 

Me: There was a spider. It’s gone now.