trickerydickerydock:

Theory A: The majority of the Venom cast are, in fact, hardcore morosexual and Eddie Brock is the supplest slice of heartfelt idiot they’ve ever laid eyes on

Anne? 110% down to marry Eddie despite and/or because of him being the human epitome of a gold-plated trashbag

Doctor Dan? Big fan of his writing, maybe they could all sit down to a ritzy lobster lunch and do some beta readings–oh, oh no, okay, lobsters are a no go, how about just saving the crazy dumbass from an arrest and giving him some All Free medical treatment instead, call me you glorious moron

VENOM? Where do we start with fucking Venom?? 2 days’ worth of roosting in that perfect, sweat-stained, I-Will-Kick-Every-Douchebag-Hornet’s-Nest-I-Can-Find, tire fire of a brain, and he’s flipping his entire species the bird while Frenching his new wonderfully, chronically, incurably confused husband

Theory B: Eddie Brock is some kind of low grade incubus who bewitches anyone he spends more than ten minutes with into becoming a morosexual, at which point his natural state of seductive dumbassity takes over

I’m sorry, i don’t want to be That Person, but… How is this not ableist?