sleepdontvisit:

I don’t think ace people trying to construct/identify ace culture understand why gay culture… is the way it is?

Like, gay fashion stems from our breaking/challenging of gender norms and as a way to like… recognize one of our own. Which is less about this:

And more about recognizing people who aren’t… inherent violent threats to us. Like, “gaydar” or being able to tell who is/isn’t “one of us” isn’t like a fun “Oh, I’m glad there’s something like me” in the sense of spotting someone with a fandom shirt you like, it’s a matter of going, ”Oh, this person won’t murder if me I mention my gender or sexuality.” Or, “Oh, she’s gay like me… maybe I can hit on her without fearing violence.”

We have gay bars because we literally could not safely go to other bars and be ourselves without facing arrest, being kicked out, being murdered. Gay music come from unique experiences and being unable to relate to straight music.

Our LGBT identities are not significant because we created the gap between gay and straight people, cis and trans people. Our LGBT identities are significant because straight and cis people said they mattered, barred us from their culture, and then we had to build from the ground up. Closed off from mainstream society, we made our own music and fashion and spaces and festivals and clubs and language based off our own experiences, redefined norms, and understanding of the world.

Aces aren’t closed off from anything. There is no communal experience. There are no revelations about the world shared between a cishet man who does not romantically love his sexual partners and a gay trans man who is sex repulsed. 

Ace culture being “IDK, the color purple, hats, and Charlie Weasley” shows how this isn’t functional or necessary. It’s a fandom. And I know that gets a lot of of backlash but like… if your attempts at creating a community are tumblr tags and the focus of your community is headcanons… well… if the shoe fits.